I love watching others lives come down to our level.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
