so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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