After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
