Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
How's work?
Spinning.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
