ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize