i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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