Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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