I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
