Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
