Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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