this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
