You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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