it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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