Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
