i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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