I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
