I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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