goodnight i made you a song goodbye
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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