My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
