I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Randomize
