omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She even gives head with a lisp.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
