Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
