I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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