Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Let the clothes fall where they may.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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