I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
