Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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