pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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