Define "chronic" masturbator.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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