What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
