My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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