hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
