maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize