Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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