Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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