i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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