i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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