just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
