i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
