i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
