I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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