Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
