the new term for farting is butt boxing.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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