Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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