Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
