It's Friday. Sex?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
