You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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