Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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