It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
