Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
