No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
