Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
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