People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
