So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Randomize
