Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
