It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
