i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
