apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
