We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
