omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
splinters make it hard to masturbate
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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