He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize
