Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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