just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
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